Beth Wants The D is a comedy about all the times Beth May has thought about killing herself! This autobiographical one-woman show puts you in the splash zone of death and delusion as Beth journeys through her struggle with bipolar disorder, but like, in a funny way. Through the bizarre highs and perilous lows, Beth knits comedy and drama together to find the scariest thing of all — a future full of hope.
Winner of the 2025 Mental Health Foundation Fringe Award.
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| Photo by Brandon Dougherty |
We caught up with Beth May to learn more about the show.
Starting a comedy show on the edge of a bridge contemplating ending your life is a bold, unforgettable opening. What went through your mind when you first decided to open the show this way, and what kind of audience reaction does that set up?
It’s a big swing. Suicide is obviously this extremely weighted and traumatic topic for a lot of people, so I also feel that starting on the bridge contemplating suicide in what is otherwise a comedy is my way of laying all the cards out on the table. If the audience is willing to stay with me on that bridge, they’ll be willing to go with me on the rest of the journey. They know I didn’t jump off that bridge, so I’m about to tell them how I got there, why I didn’t jump, and how easily the ending could have been very different.
It’s a big swing. Suicide is obviously this extremely weighted and traumatic topic for a lot of people, so I also feel that starting on the bridge contemplating suicide in what is otherwise a comedy is my way of laying all the cards out on the table. If the audience is willing to stay with me on that bridge, they’ll be willing to go with me on the rest of the journey. They know I didn’t jump off that bridge, so I’m about to tell them how I got there, why I didn’t jump, and how easily the ending could have been very different.
The show takes the audience through key chapters of your life—from your teenage years to treatments and relationships. How did you decide which specific memories to feature?
Early in the writing process I talked to my friend and fellow writer Alice Stanley Jr., who encouraged me to think about shame and embarrassment as fueling my story, not just because we love talking about embarrassing things but also because I find my favorite art is stuff that pulls the gauze off a sore spot, so to speak. So if I was outlining a scene and it didn’t embarrass me to talk about it or it didn’t bring up immense shame from the time, the scene got cut. And of course the overarching story of why I climbed up on that bridge and why I climbed back down alive require backstory and made for a great, shame-filled framing device.
Early in the writing process I talked to my friend and fellow writer Alice Stanley Jr., who encouraged me to think about shame and embarrassment as fueling my story, not just because we love talking about embarrassing things but also because I find my favorite art is stuff that pulls the gauze off a sore spot, so to speak. So if I was outlining a scene and it didn’t embarrass me to talk about it or it didn’t bring up immense shame from the time, the scene got cut. And of course the overarching story of why I climbed up on that bridge and why I climbed back down alive require backstory and made for a great, shame-filled framing device.
Congratulations on winning the Mental Health Foundation Fringe Award in 2025! The award highlights work that challenges stigma and opens up difficult conversations. What does receiving that recognition mean to you personally and creatively?
Thank you so much! Honestly, I can’t even act cool about it, it was a complete dream to win that award. I don’t think anyone sets out on a project like, “Oh I want to win this award,” but to receive the recognition for this show that is obviously so near and dear to my heart, and for a cause I care about immensely, it was just amazing. I’ll remember the feeling of hearing my name at that award ceremony forever.
Thank you so much! Honestly, I can’t even act cool about it, it was a complete dream to win that award. I don’t think anyone sets out on a project like, “Oh I want to win this award,” but to receive the recognition for this show that is obviously so near and dear to my heart, and for a cause I care about immensely, it was just amazing. I’ll remember the feeling of hearing my name at that award ceremony forever.
Your press notes emphasise that people living with bipolar disorder or psychosis are often feared or vilified in society. How do you hope Beth Wants the D shifts the audience's perception of what living with a severe mental illness actually looks like day-to-day?
The only reason I am able to function in society and do this show is because of my access to treatment. That’s it. Otherwise I’d be dead or too ill to write. So I want to really emphasize that so many brilliant, kind, exceptional people, people who’d create incredible art, are unable to do so because they lack consistent support or affordable treatment. That’s the reality of severe mental illness, to be excluded from your own life and dreams. This is obviously such a complicated issue, and if it were easy we already would have solved it, but mental illness sucks. Even as healthy as I am I have to be so careful about sleep and manage my energy well due to taking antipsychotics that make me quite lethargic. It’s an every day battle.
The only reason I am able to function in society and do this show is because of my access to treatment. That’s it. Otherwise I’d be dead or too ill to write. So I want to really emphasize that so many brilliant, kind, exceptional people, people who’d create incredible art, are unable to do so because they lack consistent support or affordable treatment. That’s the reality of severe mental illness, to be excluded from your own life and dreams. This is obviously such a complicated issue, and if it were easy we already would have solved it, but mental illness sucks. Even as healthy as I am I have to be so careful about sleep and manage my energy well due to taking antipsychotics that make me quite lethargic. It’s an every day battle.
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| Photo by Brandon Dougherty |
A core theme in the show is how treatment, medication, and mental health crises impact the people around you. How has telling these stories publicly affected your real-life relationships with family or friends?
I won’t sugarcoat it: I’ve really hurt, worried, and annoyed the people I love throughout my illness. A lot of the time I wasn’t connected to reality enough to see that, but sometimes I absolutely was, and was hurtful regardless. I see parts of this show as both an acknowledgement of my poor behavior and also a look inside of it. I think it’s brought me closer to a lot of my friends who have seen me at my worst, because I’m giving them safe access to a world that they’ve only previously witnessed as a crisis.
Performing an autobiographical solo show requires exposing your most vulnerable moments night after night. How do you protect your own mental well-being while reliving these intense personal experiences on stage during a run?
Not to sound like a tough guy about it, but I think it’s been slightly easier than anticipated. After the first time I did the show, I felt very affirmed that what I’m doing, despite just being one show, is important. And every night I do the show I get to go on stage and remember what I’ve gotten through so far and how important it was that I did not end my life on that bridge, and I honestly think that’s a gift very few people will ever get. Now I just look forward to doing it and hope the audience enjoys it too.
Not to sound like a tough guy about it, but I think it’s been slightly easier than anticipated. After the first time I did the show, I felt very affirmed that what I’m doing, despite just being one show, is important. And every night I do the show I get to go on stage and remember what I’ve gotten through so far and how important it was that I did not end my life on that bridge, and I honestly think that’s a gift very few people will ever get. Now I just look forward to doing it and hope the audience enjoys it too.
Fans know you from collaborative, long-form audio storytelling like Dungeons & Daddies. How does the experience of performing live, solo storytelling differ from recording podcasts or performing with an ensemble cast?
My co-hosts on Dungeons and Daddies are some of my very best friends. I love working on the show and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them. Mostly, when I’m working on the podcast, I’m just trying to make them laugh and not thinking that much about the bigger picture.
My co-hosts on Dungeons and Daddies are some of my very best friends. I love working on the show and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them. Mostly, when I’m working on the podcast, I’m just trying to make them laugh and not thinking that much about the bigger picture.
Following a critically acclaimed run in Edinburgh, you’re making your London debut before heading back to Scotland for the Scottish Mental Health Arts Festival. Have you done anything differently in the approach to the run of shows this time?
For the Fringe run I had to cut about 15 minutes out of my original script from 2023, which was such a good lesson on the killing of darlings and the beauty of brevity, but there were sections I definitely missed, stuff that I thought added needed context and flavor, and so I’ve added some of it back in and added a couple of new things as well. I see the script as a bit of a living document as I continue to reckon with living with bipolar and what it teaches me, so I feel really fortunate to have the opportunity to experiment a bit with these UK audiences, see what they find funny, and see which version feels most true to the story I want to tell.
For the Fringe run I had to cut about 15 minutes out of my original script from 2023, which was such a good lesson on the killing of darlings and the beauty of brevity, but there were sections I definitely missed, stuff that I thought added needed context and flavor, and so I’ve added some of it back in and added a couple of new things as well. I see the script as a bit of a living document as I continue to reckon with living with bipolar and what it teaches me, so I feel really fortunate to have the opportunity to experiment a bit with these UK audiences, see what they find funny, and see which version feels most true to the story I want to tell.
At its core, Beth Wants the D is described as a life-affirming contemplation on the fragility of living with psychosis. If an audience member walking out of the theatre takes away just one core feeling or thought from your show, what do you hope it is?
Whether you or your loved one is living with mental illness, things can get extremely bleak. Things can seem hopeless. I just want people to walk away knowing, not just saying, that things can get better. And it’s super hard, never an overnight fix, but always worth trying. You can come back from this.
Whether you or your loved one is living with mental illness, things can get extremely bleak. Things can seem hopeless. I just want people to walk away knowing, not just saying, that things can get better. And it’s super hard, never an overnight fix, but always worth trying. You can come back from this.
Beth Wants the D runs at Pleasance London on Friday 23rd and Saturday 24th October. For tickets, visit https://www.pleasance.co.uk/event/beth-wants-d
The show then plays at Red Lecture Hall at Summerhall in Edinburgh on Thursday 29th October 2026. The performance is sold out https://www.mhfestival.com/events/beth-wants-the-d/
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| Photo by Brandon Dougherty |
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